Whatever, Take That. This is so not the greatest day of my life.
Normally I love all that optimism and stuff, but you see, I'm really rather stressed and moody. My mum's psychology book thing said that stressed people become an unpleasant opposite of themselves. Ie. people who are normally quiet and kind will be loud and aggressive, and people who are normally loud and chatty will become all sullen and emo.
I was going to find some poor unsuspecting person and rant to them about but then I realised something: people have an annoying habit of replying when I'm ranting. I don't want someone to tell me that they have the solution to all my problems. I want to be able to go on and on about how I hate the world and get it out of my system.
So basically, I have a drama dress rehearsal tomorrow. I don't really know why, but this has got to be my least favourite drama piece ever. I know, I know, that makes it a 'challenge' so that I develop and become a better actress. But that doesn't mean I can't hate it the whole way along! I have to be this passionate, fierce woman who sinks into depression and eventually takes her own life. Yeah, fun. It's incredibly difficult. I think I'd rather do a physics exam than go through that play one more time. If I pull it off, it will look really good. If I don't pull it off I will be miserable.
When actors do interviews, they always talk about how much they enjoyed making the film no matter how physically/mentally demanding their role is. They never say anything like "Well, I hated most of it. And the rest of it was pretty crap too."
I really dislike working in my group. It truly is the worst drama group I've ever been in and I'm starting to dread every lesson and rehearsal. I won't go into details because that's ever so bitchy, but it's really horrible. Also, I have nothing in common with my character at all, which is incredibly frustrating. For a start, this woman is staying with her husband despite the fact that he's leaving every night to go spend some time with whatever strumpet he picks up on the road. I can't honestly imagine myself in that position - she's incredibly pathetic.
And then there's my suicide note. Oh God, the suicide note.
It uses the word "stinking". That's right, kids. "Stinking situation" or something.
Oh please.
There's nothing desperate about this note, it's all philosophical and it makes far too much sense. I'd show more examples but I don't have it in front of me. I've got to learn that by tomorrow actually. Whatever.
And to top it all off, I have to wear yellow.
Well isn't life just dandy.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
